just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
