Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
