a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
