Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
