No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
