So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
