alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
