I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
