drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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