and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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