my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize