Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am available for nakedness
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
