Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
