My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
