you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
