We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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