You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
