this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
