Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
