I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
They are going to name an STD after you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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