would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
