But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
