are you so shy because you have an std?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she smelled like a LAN party
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
