It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
