well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
