walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
