i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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