She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
