Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
