AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize