We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
