i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
