sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
