its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are we still banned from the library?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
