I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize