That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
