let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
