P.S. I can't hear my feet
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
