so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
