I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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