ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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