Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
