So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize