Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
