Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
