i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
