You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
