Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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