That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i will never coherently bang her
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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