I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
