I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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