everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
