I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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