lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
