I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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