Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
