All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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