Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
