You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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