I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
