I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
