I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
