so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
